Visiting the Motherland...with My Mom

Some of you may not know that I am Polish. OK, my maternal grandmother is one-half Polish, which makes me merely one-eighth. But I have been raised feeling that Poland was my European home. While on my "world adventure" I decided that it was important to see where I am "from", where my ancestors lived and died, and meet the relatives with whom my mom has held the torch for more than 30 years. So I did it. With my mom. To the motherland. Amazing!



We flew into Berlin a few days apart from each other (for which I was forgiven - thank you Mom!) and left the next day for Torun, which would be our home base in Poland. Greeted at the train station by Kuba, my cousin, I was immediately comfortable and relishing in the feeling of "home." Kuba and his wife Kasia, are wonderful. In their early 30's, they both work as English teachers and embarrassingly have better grammar than me. (Does anyone remember "future perfect" tense?) But their language skills certainly enhanced our experience. As did their two adorable children who I have promised to be able to communicate with the next time I visit.




Upon arrival, Kuba said to me, "Pam are you REALLY a vegetarian or was your mom just playing a cruel joke on us?" I confirmed that indeed I was and I got the most hilarious, confounded head shake because Polish people really don't know how to cook without meat. I sent his mother, who was planning a feast, into a fit of craziness until she learned that I ate fish. Phew! Crisis averted... Oh, and all those desserts? I ate plenty of those vegetarian delights in addition to all the other delicious foods that they learned how to cook on my behalf. Thank you Kasia & Maria!







Here are two of my favorite things in Poland - above is Franek, who's a year and a half, and Bella the beautiful golden lab. At left, that's Anastasia, Kasia and a very cold and ill-prepared me!


Coincidentally, while we were in Torun, Kasia's Saturday English class was on "cross cultural communication," so she invited me to speak to her class about the cultural differences and communication styles in the different countries that I have visited. It was a great experience to speak in my best "simple English" to these students, which included doctors and teenagers alike. It was a joy!




Above are my Polish cousins...Lucy, Kuba, Mariusz and Gabi.


We spent the weekend, a gloriously sunny one, meeting our "live" relatives and visiting the graves of some deceased ones too. Not to be krass, but I've never spent so much time at cemeteries in my life. And it turned out to be a really powerful part of my Poland experience. We visited great-great-grandfathers and grandmothers, aunts and uncles and cousins. Standing next to Kuba at the gravesite of our common ancestors, I felt connected to a world much larger than me. This was the world of my ancestors, and I left feeling the love for their homeland.















Mom and I also went up to the north part of the country on the Baltic Sea, to the cities of Gdansk and Sopot. Talk about beautiful places! The weather was fantastic, the rich seafaring history of the area was evident, and the town - which was 80% destroyed by bombs during World War II - is alive and thriving. We shopped, ate, drank and laughed. I also got to visit my first ever castle in Malbork near Gdansk, that was built beginning in the twelfth century. It is the largest brick castle in the world. Spectacular!



Unfortunately, I only got to spend about two days in Berlin but I really loved it! The cosmopolitan vibe, beautiful architecture, rich history, beautiful museums, lovely walking path along the Spree River and the great food contributed to our nice time in the city. That said, we were there during the Easter weekend, which here means Saturday, Sunday AND Monday which meant that most of the shops were closed. Oh well, I will just have to go back!

After I made my plane to Amsterdam (whee!), I got to spend eight days with Gerdien in her home country, and Jaya who also was a part of the Annapurna Circuit trek. We biked everywhere, ate constantly and abundantly (lots of cheese!) and laughed constantly. It was a fantastic week, and cemented a lifetime of friendship with these two amazing women.

I'm in New England now hanging out with my paternal relatives. Coincidentally, there is a family party while I'm here so I will get to see all the cousins! Last night was karaoke at the American Legion Hall in Medford (say "Meffa" and sound like a local), and Beth and I did the worst rendition of "I Will Survive" ever. But of course, because it's Beth we had a great time entertaining the "blue heads and nearly deads" (her words!) and never stopped laughing the entire evening.



I leave tomorrow for a quick day in LA before heading to Guatemala. Chapter Two of my World Adventure is coming to a close, and Chapter Three will begin on Tuesday.


I got a fantastic email today from "The Universe" and I love it. It says,

"Pam, isn't it nice to know that you haven't yet laughed, all that you'll
laugh? That you haven't yet met some of your very best friends? And that you
haven't yet dreamed all that you'll manifest?

That all bridges will be mended? That all sadness will be healed? And that life never ends? That all your challenges will be won? That all of your triumphs will be shared? And that the difference you'll make has already begun?"

I am grateful for all that I have learned, and looking forward to growing into it all.

With love,
Pam

Ho Chi Minh - Universe - Berlin

So, perhaps you've read to the very end of my last blog post to hear about my idiotic military time mistake. That little two-hour mistake cost me $800. But when life gives you lemons, make lemonade! After I finally got over my absolute frustration with myself for missing that flight, and leaving my mom alone for two days while I languished in transit, I decided that there was a reason that I was not supposed to be on that flight. The Universe had something else in store for me, I was sure.

First at the Ho Chi Minh airport, I said to myself, I hope I sit next to someone interesting on this flight! Thereby, giving the Universe permission to put someone next to me (a Liz Gilbert-esque teacher) with a lesson to share. Alas, I was given Delbert, a late-20's guy's guy from Louisiana who called me Ma'am. Delbert works for an oil company in "offshore," lingo for something I really didn't want to know anything about. I revoiced my intention, aiming a little lower this time. "Universe, please let me meet someone and have a meaningful conversation."

Enter Javier and Andrew. Arriving in Hong Kong, I almost immediately bump into these two civil engineers who work in Madrid. One of them, Javier, was from Barcelona and Andrew was from Torun, Poland - the very place where I will spend the weekend with my mom! We all shared a beer and a very serendipitous moment. Andrew will be in Torun next week and there's a chance that we will get to meet again there. Javier promised to be my Spanish penpal when I return from Guatemala, and help me hone my Spanish language skills. Thank you Universe!

Andrew and Javier had just missed a flight for no good reason at all, so we had plenty of laughs to share over our common fate. So, when I told them I had to leave to go catch my plane because "Missing one plane is a bad mistake, missing two is just plain stupid," they agreed. So I went to (what I thought) was my gate, looked at the enormous line and decided to send them both an email so we could stay connected. After a brief stint online near the gate, I got to the end of the enormous line before the stewardess checked my boarding pass. You are not at this gate! This is Cathay Pacific! You are on British Airways!" (Note: my flight to Hong Kong actually was a combined British Airways/Cathay Pacific flight, so I wasn't being completely stupid.) She said it with such urgency, and I knew that my flight - wherever it was - was certainly in it's final stages of boarding. And if you've ever been to the Hong Kong airport, you will appreciate my panic because of the sheer size. I ran in my flipflops, with my carry on bouncing away, as fast as my feet would carry me towards Gate 17. I was really out of breath when I saw a representative of British Airways holding a sign, I showed her my boarding pass and she said, as panicked as she could, "RUN!" So I ran behind this 89-pound woman wearing proper shoes for running through an airport like OJ Simpson, and ran and ran. When I got to the gate, they were just shutting the doors. I was the Last Person on That Plane to Heathrow. It was a really close call!

So then I sit down, huffing and puffing, next to this amazing woman from Brazil, Denise. Denise is a university professor in Macau, and we connected almost immediately. Which was a good thing, because it was a 13-hour flight and we had LOTS of time to talk! We talked about life, love, and learning and we each felt like we'd received the angel that we needed. Score 2 for Universe!

Right behind us during the flight was a family traveling with two children, 4 and 1. And during the entire flight (I am not kidding) at least one of them was crying, sometimes both, and often with the kind of shrill that makes you wince in pain. And, while they wailed they kicked the seats in front of them wildly, which were our seats. The whole time I was thinking about what lessons I needed to take away from that.The parents were relatively unconcerned about their kids breakdowns (which is understandable on a long flight, but come on folks! Get a grip on those young screamers!) Needless to say, neither one of us got very much sleep at all, and But that was OK too, because we both had long layovers at Heathrow and we continued our amazing conversations. She's invited me to Brazil, and I'm holding out hope that she winds up calling the USA her home. Oddly enough, Denise almost missed HER flight because we were having so much fun!

So I am now sitting in Heathrow airport, the biggest shrine of Western Culture that I could possibly meet upon my re-entry to Western Culture. Needless to say, it's shocking. But I'm sure there is a lesson here for me too, I'm just trying to figure out what it is.

Berlin, I will be there shortly. I'm looking forward to meeting you!

Closing the Book on Asia; Loving Marjie's 'Hood

I spent the past four days experiencing the magic of Vietnam that Marjie has been writing about in her blog for the past eight months. I've been living vicariously, reading about the castle, her neighborhood, her school, the amazing food, her new friends, the Bum Bum and Nam. Marjie is a friend from Seattle who decided to come live and teach in Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon) starting last August. Our journeys embarked at about the same time, and we've been voyeurs into each other's worlds through our blogs. So it is appropriate that you have to be a voyeur into her amazing world (http://marjiebowker.blogspot.com/2009/03/pams-top-ten-list.html) read about my thoughts on and experiences in Saigon in the previous three blog posts, the last one authored by me!


For now, I am going to use this space to reflect on Asia, and my parting impressions of six and a half months traveling in Nepal, India, Thailand, Laos, Cambodia and Vietnam. (You can click on the country's name to go back to read my more thorough blog posts on each country. Unfortunately, I'm not able to access my photo library right now so see the individual blog posts for images.)


Before this trip, my only impressions of Asia were formed in high school during a two week trip to Japan and Hong Kong. But I know now that you can not stereotype Asia, or any other continent I am sure. Each country is so unique - culture, clothes, food, music, landscape - and the people so different!


Nepal is absolutely beautiful, and somewhere that you have to go if you have any interest in hiking and the outdoors. It allows you to peek into the lives of the rural villagers as you trek through the mountains, experiencing the majesty of the Himalayas. Perhaps because Nepal was my first destination I hold a special place in my heart for it, like a first born. But what I think actually happened is that Nepal woke my Spirit. I can almost cry thinking about the loving, warm, generous people of Nepal. Though they are poor, unlike India they really don't have any concept of wealth so you don't feel like they are desperate when they see you for the Western lifestyle of abundance. And, it is a great country for women traveling alone.


India calls me back in a way that none of the other countries I've visited do. As much as I loved Nepal, I feel like I got to see it and know it, from the peaks of the Annapurna to the flatlands of the terai. But in India, I feel like I need at least another three months to see what I want to see and learn what I want to learn. India gets under your skin, and infects you with an appreciation of beautiful chaos. There my open Spirit was like a sponge drinking it all in. I could not get enough! And honestly, would have stayed the rest of my time there if my visa hadn't been expiring. Just the other night I finally got to see Slumdog Millionaire and it gave me goosebumps. Though it was filmed in Mumbai, I could feel the energy, the joy, the poverty, the paradox of all of India. I am glad that I wasn't traveling alone here. Not that it would be impossible for sure, but certainly I didn't feel as safe as I did in Nepal, though luckily I escaped any scary situations. But mostly, I am so glad that I had Gerdien to share so many of my experiences because otherwise no one would ever understand or frankly believe the things I saw!


Then it was off to shiny, clean, organized Thailand. Perhaps being in Nepal and India for five and a half months tainted my perceptions, but I really didn't love Thailand like everyone told me I would. It was too Western for it's own good, and the true essence hard to find. At one time, maybe 20 or 30 years ago I think Thailand was a beautiful country with the culture and beauty that I was expecting to walk into. But now it exists too much for the tourists, and that gives it a positively sanitary, safe feeling. Needless to say, I wasn't sad to leave nor would I choose to return to Thailand again.


Laos was raw, unplugged and unfiltered. While there is a tourist culture for sure, there is also a beauty and magic that is so pure and joyful. You needn't go far past the tourists to see what Laos really is. It's a relatively small country (6 million versus India's 1.2 billion) so most of the people live in very small towns and villages. The beauty of the mountainous northern region was staggering, and I will never forget to happiness of the people! Laos is definitely a country that I would recommend to anyone with an adventurous spirit, and I can't wait to get back myself.


Because I only spent seven days in Siem Reap, I hardly feel like I can comment authoritatively on Cambodia. What I do know is that Cambodia has a sadness that permeates the culture. Perhaps it is the poverty, but most likely it is the legacy of the Khmer Rouge era in which an entire generation, nearly 1/5 of the population, was killed in the mid-1970's. The people are soft and gentle, the culture is survivalistic (new word?) and the landscape is rather flat. This is a country in need of some serious NGO work, and luckily there are groups like Cambodia We Care who are really taking an interest in rebuilding this war-ravaged country.


I can't say that I have impressions of Vietnam. Rather, I got a peek into a microcosm of Saigon, and more specifically into Marjie's world. I loved my experience here, and indulged my way through her neighborhood - especially at the Bum Bum! It was wonderful to connect with home, cry with someone who knew Sadie, and experience small town life in a great big city. While Saigon is probably not a place I would necessarily want to come back to, Marjie's little neighborhood is a place that I could call home. It is a divine slice of heaven!

Next on the agenda: after a military time mistake (20:30 is 8:30 pm Pam, not 10:30! Doh!) and missing my flight to Berlin to meet my mom (Sorry Mom! It was a completely idiotic but honest screw up) I am off to try to book a new flight to meet up with Mom. We will have nearly two weeks to reconnect, laugh and experience the Western world together.

With love,
Pam

Cambodia, Clint Eastwood-style

While I didn't get into any gun-slinging battles while visiting Cambodia, I did have to use my mean voice. And, I did discover the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly about this country. Thankfully, I also got to experience the beautiful in the children of a very small, very poor village.


Good: The Temples of Angkor




When I was in India, I (intentionally) missed the Taj Mahal. Not that I didn't want to see it, but the rumors of tour buses outnumbering the beautiful moments made me think twice. To tell you the truth, I kind of regret that decision. After all, I know it's something that I should see in my lifetime! So, when I got to Cambodia I knew that I wouldn't forgive myself for missing Angkor Wat, what some people call the "Eighth Wonder of the World." And it was really amazing. The photo above is of sunrise over Angkor Wat, which is magical. There is such a rich history in Siem Reap and Cambodia, that those of us in the US can just never comprehend. Many of the temples were constructed more than 1,100 years ago, and they still retain the character and grandeur of their original intention, with a few natural additions (see the tree!). There is an interesting combination of Buddhist and Hindu temples, all reflecting the religious beliefs of the king who built them. And, what's more, there are probably hundreds more yet to be discovered. I spent two solid days from sun-up to sun-down enjoying the highlights of the huge Angkor kingdom which at one time stretched from Myanmar to Vietnam.

While it was beautiful and amazing and I'm glad I did it, when you travel in this part of the world it's kind of easy to get "templed-out" because of the vast number that you visit. I fear that I didn't absorb all that I should've because of my overloaded brain. Sadly, more than once I wished for a memory stick to hold all of this new information!

Bad: The Vendors

Part of the reason that I didn't LOVE the Temples of Angkor as much as I should've is that the vendors around the temples were the most aggressive that I've encountered to date - anywhere! Apparently they do not hear you when you say no, or at least they refuse to acknowledge that they hear you. So, they ask you (I am not kidding) maybe 20 or 30 times if you want to buy their goods. After answering one girl's questions 20 times and showing her the postcards I had purchased from another vendor, I started to lose my patience. After all, they were following me asking repeatedly the same question again and again and again and ARGH! I finally lost it and (regretfully) got a little rude. At one point a child followed me for 1/4 mile asking if I would buy her postcards. "Lady. Cheap price. Only 10 for one dollar. Lady. Lady. Good price. You want to buy. Lady, please. Lady, good price only for you. Lady...". I finally turned around and looked the girl in the eyes, after politely declining at least 20 times, and shouted, "NO! I DO NOT WANT TO BUY YOUR POSTCARDS!" So she did what every good Angkor child vendor does in response to this situation - she cried. God, I felt terrible but also I was glad she finally stopped asking me. Similar situations happened at least once an hour and it really burned me out. I was exhausted, not from the walking or the scorching heat, but from the vendor battles! And, in case you're wondering, I still didn't buy her postcards. Gulp.


Ugly: Khmer Rouge genocide

Though the country has done a good job of "polishing up" the horrors of the past (that is, they are not so evident to passing tourists) reading a bit about the country's history you learn why there is a heaviness in the air here. The legacy of the Khmer Rouge era in Cambodia is still fresh. The genocide of the 1970's in which 2 MILLION people perished under Pol Pot is an unforgettable part of their world. Every Cambodian person that I met lost at least one family member in this atrocity, and they talked about it with such resignation. I found myself wondering why I had never learned about the Khmer Rouge in school - neither high school nor college. I had to watch the movie The Killing Fields to get a sense of the horrors, though while here I read a book about one girl's account of her life growing up. Both of her parents were dead (murdered) by the time she was 7 years old. She was one of the lucky ones and survived the executions, tortures, starvation and labor camps imposed on many of Cambodia's people.

This sweet woman's grandfather lived in a labor camp during the war, and while he did live he lost a leg due to a land mine during that period. And that is the legacy that the U.S. has left in Cambodia - there are still somewhere between 3 million and 6 million UXOs (live land mines) in the country, and nearly every day someone (often playful children) is killed or maimed by one. There are several NGOs working to remove the mines, but it is a very time consuming process just to get one. I spent a few hours at the Landmine Museum and found myself in tears the whole way through. Very upsetting to say the least. The good news about all this ugliness is that the perpetrators are finally being brought to trial to take responsibility for their action here. Interestingly though, while I expected the Cambodian people to be elated to finally see some justice, most of them just didn't care. Their wounds have healed and though the trial seeks justice for the people of Cambodia, I got the feeling that they would rather just leave the past in the past, and continue on in their now-regular lives. Here's a story from yesterday's New York Times if you want to learn more...






The Beautiful: The Children

I had the fantastic opportunity to spend some time in Cambodia working with an organization called Cambodia We Care. They work in partnership with a wonderful Siem Reap hotel called the Shinta Mani, and together they are funding projects to improve life for the neediest local residents. We spent a day traveling to the Pouk School in a very small, desparately poor village called Sambour to deliver lunch, school uniforms, school supplies and clothes. My goal was to assist in this mission and to gather information to help the organization get some publicity. But back to the school...imagine trying to get an education here:




In this tiny one room school house (if you can even call it that), there were over 100 students. Because there weren't proper walls, seats or desks, kids of all ages from all over the village came to peek in to see what was happening at school, since it was the only thing going on in town. There was one small chalkboard, and that was it. Most of the kids didn't even have a pencil or paper until we delivered them. To raise the $30,000 needed to build a new school (think about that number), sometime later this summer or in early fall there will be a fundraiser in Seattle. Please let me know if you'd like to donate or attend! Date and details TBD...

I write this post from Vietnam where I am having an amazing culinary tour, complements of my friend Marjie who is teaching here. Check out her blog (http://marjiebowker.blogspot.com/) to see what I've been up to this weekend! I will do my own post soon, but hers summarizes my permanently smiling face and endlessly full belly!


With love,
Pam

Sucking. Tickling. Fish?

Have you ever had an experience that was almost kinky, but not quite? Today, I tried what is apparently Southeast Asia's fastest growing sex experience. Sucking fish. OK, it wasn't quite sexual, but it was - umm - a little erotic?!

First the madame wipes your bottom parts (your feet) clean of all the grime that your sandalled feet have surely acquired. Then, you place your bare feet into a tank filled with about 3,000 mini-piranhas. I was assured that they weren't piranhas and they wouldn't draw blood, but instead they would literally "suck" all the dead skin off of my feet. I know, it's really not a sexy post now...

Anyway, it tickles like CRAZY! I shrieked and pulled my feet out so fast. I was laughing and all the Cambodian women were cracking up. I knew I must try, and that my feet needed the love. So I continued. And then it felt really good. Oh, yeah. I was in a groove.

And then the pool filled up with other customers, obviously intrigued by my shrieks of joy. They also had the same kind of wild experience.

I let those fish nibble and nibble until they were done nibbling and found someone else's dead skin sexier than mine. And it lasted about 30 minutes! Wow.

I'm going to sleep now...

Laos: Laid Back Nature

I've found my favorite country in Southeast Asia. OK, well, it is only my second so far, but it's definitely at the top of the list! Laos is like the geographical love child of Costa Rica and Nepal. It's got a positively beautiful landscape in the mountainous northern region, the world's happiest people (I have never seen so much spontaneous laughter!) and the laid-back nature of a California surfer dude. I mean to say, it is positively lovable and I really don't think I stopped smiling during my much-too-short ten days here.

When I crossed the border from Thailand into Laos, I took a two-day "slow boat" ride down the Mekong River. Though it was filled with half tourists and half locals, this was defintely a segregated event. That said, it was a really nice way to connect with some really great people from all over the world, seeing as we had about 16 hours to pass together. This photo is of one of the local stops that we made along the way where goods were loaded onto the plywood roof by a woman in her canoe. It was a positively beautiful ride through the jungles, gardens and mountains of northern Laos.

Though I was here for only 10 days, I feel like I had enough experiences to write a book! One day, Gerdien and I walked through our small town (Nong Kieu) to a smaller village of maybe 40 homes. We were, of course, greeted enthuasiastically by a group of children - probably ages 3 to 10. For the next 2-3 hours, we proceeded to entertain them without any shared words. We invented games, had relay races (yes, I slept hard that night!) and went to the river to go swimming. They were so poor and their toys were things like plastic water bottles (undoubtedly left by tourists) cut open and with a string tied to it like a car, and old bicycle tires. I so wanted to go back and bring them some books, clothes, notebooks or anything, but unfortunately Nong Kieu didn't have anything for us to deposit. You can bet that I will be dreaming for a long time of going back and leaving a meaningful gift.

This video above is a little over a minute long, and might take a while for you to download, but it shows the sheer joy of the kids while they played by the riverside and the simplicity of rural Asian life. Remember that these kids don't have Guitar Hero or even running water!

The next night, we received an invitation to come to a "village celebration". We gratefully accepted, and then entered into one of the most memorable days of my trip. The party was absolutely like nothing I have ever experienced! First of all, the Southeast Asian people - Laos not excluded - really love to eat any kind of meat that they can find. We arrived after not having eaten since breakfast, feeling rather famished, only to find that the ONLY food available was sticky rice with three different kinds of buffalo mixture - one that included dried buffalo skin. Ummm...quite a difficult situation for a hungry vegetarian. So, I practiced the "when in Laos" philosophy and ate buffalo meat. OK, I only had a few bites and about a pound of sticky rice but I did it. And it was really disgusting. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to become a buffalo-tarian any time soon. Doesn't that look good? (Yes, that is lard floating on top.)

About that time, the whiskey started to flow. And this isn't just any whiskey, it's Lao Lao - the very potent homemade beverage they pride themselves on. And it's not a matter of you asking for whiskey. It is just given to you and then the whole table stares at you (smiling, of course) and waits for it to go down the hatch. I had a few shots before sneaking away from the table and hiding out of view of any food or liquor.

Then, the dancing started up! And, it wasn't Western style dancing. It wasn't even really dancing for that matter. More like a barely-wiggling-your-hands-while-sidestepping-in-a-line-while-facing-but-not-touching-your-partner dance. It was slow and boring, and I couldn't stop laughing. Until I realized that maybe I was being rude (they were all drunk, so maybe they didn't notice?) so I put on my best poker face and had Gerdien in stitches all night long with my overly serious face. We were the "Belles of the Ball" and danced with every man and child in that room over the course of the next six hours. It was not until the very end of the evening - the last dance - that the young kids got brave enough (or drunk enough?) to bust out a few wild moves and dance out of line. It was as if they had to wait for all the adults to go to bed before they could misbehave. We had fun with that last dance, too! (I also had a hilarious experience at a Lao disco...but that dancing story will have to wait!)

One of our last days, we walked to a cave that had served as the town for six years during the Laos Secret War from 1968 - 1974. It was a big cave, but not seemingly big enough to house nearly 1,000 people as well as host all of their civil functions as well (banking, medical, grocery). It was really eye opening to stand in this cave and look out over the beautiful fields and mountains, knowing that for six years while the bombs dropped no one left that cave without the threat of death. I don't know much about the war as I wasn't able to communicate with the locals enough to understand, but I am looking forward to learning more about the political forces at work here.

This photo was taken after hiking to the top of Laos' largest waterfall and then tryng to find our way down. It was a beautful place, and the monks also appreciated the cool respite from the hot afternoon.

Today I said goodbye to Laos, and hello to Cambodia. It is impossible for me to describe how these last six months have shaped my awareness, expanded my consciousness, and opened me so much more than ever to serendipity. I am so blessed to be here, to have created this space, and having these amazing experiences. I never stop reminding myself of this beautiful gift!

With love,

Pam

First World Thai-diness

Thanks to everyone for their loving words to me about Sadie. I am, of course, still very sad but I am forcing myself to remember the good times that we shared together every time I start to feel gloomy. There were hundreds of days spent in the mountains hiking, which we both loved so much. There was the excited look in her eyes that she would get when we were anywhere near the water and she could swim. The prayers that I could see in her eyes when I started getting dressed in the morning...is it work clothes or walking clothes? She knew. There was her first meat bone ever that I gave her for her 10th birthday, and she was so confused. It took her nearly a day of sniffing and licking to start chewing. Ultimately, I know that I would choose to do it all over again even knowing the outcome. Certainly the love and joy I received from her is greater than the pain I am feeling right now, despite how overwhelming it feels.

I've been in Thailand now for two weeks and while that is kind of a "normal" vacation length, for me now it feels a bit rushed. That said, I've had a nice time but haven't quite adjusted to the normalcy of it all after having been so immersed in the Cold Hard Third World for the past six months.

Thailand is really clean and Western. I guess I imagined that it would be more like India than the USA, but indeed that is not the case. There are lines on the roads, stop lights that people obey, virtually no potholes in the entire country, a very well organized and clean transit system, road signs, no litter at all - even recycling bins on the sides of the highway, Starbucks (first one since Seattle), and virtually every convenience imaginable. Even the temples are spotless and shiny. It is a very comfortable, easy country to travel in. It is beautiful, but my perceptions are clouded by my experiences of the past six months.

That said, the tourists here are very different from those of India and Nepal. While I have met many nice people here, when you walk in the streets you see so many gross men with sweet, young Thai women. They are what the Lonely Planet calls "sex tourists" and they are disgusting. I didn't take any photos, but you can just imagine. Maybe 20% (?) of the tourists are here for that one purpose, and they are not afraid to strut through the streets with their prize on their arm. Quite a contrast from India and Nepal where you never, ever saw even hand-holding or a woman's knee for that matter!

I made the most of my time here, and had a few really great experiences including:

Learning how to make my own curry paste, Pad See Ew and Tom Yum at cooking school in Chiang Mai. Did you know that using a bit of salt with the soap when you wash your hands after cutting chilis takes out the oil so that you don't burn your eyeballs? Or that touching the metal of your tap while washing your hands after cutting garlic takes out the stink? Oh, and fish sauce and a teaspoon of sugar are the secret ingredients in basically every single Thai dish! Those tips alone were worth the cost of the course! Now you know... and I will be eager to try out my new skills when I get home so get in line!

Since I didn't get to see tigers in India despite my best attempts (and besides, I needed a little animal love to heal my grieving heart), I decided to go to a place that has tigers in captivity so I could see and touch them. They were obviously well cared for and loved. It was a little cheesy, but totally cool. I mean, how often can you lay your head on a tiger and hear it's lunch digesting while it takes an afternoon nap? This one here was five months old, 130 pounds, and his name was Simba. I got to watch them play in their pond, eat lunch, nap and walk around. Then, I got to touch and pet and even kiss them!

In Bangkok, I went to the Taling Chan Floating Market, which was fantastic! It was a very local kind of market experience, with many of the vendors in canoes on the canals cooking and selling from there. I found Mieng Kam in a bag for 30 cents (my favorite!), ate fish ball soup, barbequed scallops, grilled fish, Thai ice dessert, noodle something-or-other, tasted fresh tamarind (weird), palm sugar candy and just about everything I could put in my mouth. I discovered that the Thai people put chilies in everything! Gerdien and I met three really nice Thai people who come there every Sunday for a feast, and they were so kind to share their table and a bit of everything that they had with us too. It was beautiful, sensory and delicious!

Tomorrow I will cross the Mekong River into Laos, and take a two-day boat ride down the river to Luang Prabang. I will arrive in Siem Reap, Cambodia around March 21 (Happy Birthday Dad!) to do some volunteer work with an amazing group called Cambodia We Care. I'm looking forward to soaking in these final days of Asia. It has been a life-changing experience, for certain.

With love,

Pam